Relatable Essay Example

Let’s take a look here at a real world example and this is an essay of a student who applied to Connecticut College and I pulled this example from their website specifically and for any of you who are looking to read some other essays of students who were submitted or were accepted into the university you can check Connecticut College is just one example there are several universities that on their admission websites they will have information and tips on how to write a very good essay so this is when I pulled from Connecticut College you can certainly check it out later for more examples if you would like but let’s just take a look here so this is a winning essay I’m just going to share with you the first paragraph in the last paragraph.

So the entire essay itself is four paragraphs long for the sake of time we’re just going to look at two and so we’re just going to dive in here and take a look so this is the first paragraph so this is Justin he’s in the graduating class of 2018 and he his title here is food for thought and you’ll see why that is a creative title in just a minute so the memory of my first McDonald’s hamburger is still fresh in my mind I can easily recall the way that the acidic pickles overpowered my senses how their pungent fragrance walked it through my car and invaded my clothes I can feel the soggy buns disintegrating atop my tongue so unlike any other bread I have ever had and the meager patty crumbling beneath my teeth ok I’m just going to pause there for a second and say that anyone who is in this webinar right now who has eaten the McDonald’s hamburger you’re anything like me you read that and you feel like you feel like you’re there right so you’ve eaten this before you know exactly what he’s talking about right.

So the the smell invading your clothes it doesn’t leave you for days and so this imagery this is vivid words in action so I feel like I’m there we feel like we’re there in this moment here so continuing on um these flavors and textures are memorable because they were novel because I was not raised on such hamburgers but tried one for the first time your recent family car ride home from Canada my parents were puzzled by my desire to consume a food that they had always regarded at taboo my rationale was this I do not eat the hamburger because it might be delicious or good for me I eat it to learn about the world so that’s how he finishes up the first paragraph so remember how I said you should have your thesis be very clear with in the first paragraph so this is an interesting example because within this first paragraph you don’t really see the point within the first couple of sentences but it saved until the last sentence sentence of this paragraph so my rationale was this I do not eat the hamburger because it might be delicious or good for me I eat it to learn about the world.

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